ON LOVE AT HOME
A Fifth Sunday Lesson Given to the
RS, HP, EQ, YM, and YW
STERLING PARK WARD
ASHBURN, VA STAKE
30 April 2006
(The following is a summary of the Powerpoint Slide presentation. Thus, it will be a little choppy and disjointed.)
Why is 05 January 1968 so famous in history?
The important technology I want you to focus on is the "collar of obedience" used by the "The Providers" to keep the "Thralls" and members of the Star Trek crew obedient.
How much would I pay on eBay for a "real" collar of obedience? I really could have used a couple when my older boys were teenagers.
III. OBEDIENCE SCHOOL
There are some fathers who have a tendency to treat their home as an obedience school.
Obedience training is for dogs, not family members.
- That is, the principle they most often emphasize in the home is obedience.
- Indeed, some husbands act like the person in their home who needs the most "obedience training" is their wife.
When I was in junior high and senior high school, wayward teens were sent to reform schools, also known as reformatories.
Sometimes we would be warned, "Do you want to be sent to reform school?"
For examples of Reform Schools see:
V. REFORM SCHOOL
There are some mothers who have a tendency to treat their home as a reform school.
Reform school is for convicts, not family members.
- That is, the principle they most often emphasize in the home is reform. (change)
- Indeed, some wives act like the person in their home who needs the most "reform" is their husband.
In both the obedience school and the reform school cases, we are trying to get other family members to behave the way WE want them to.
In essence, we want to impose our will on their will.
Some of us spend considerable emotional energy trying to change our family members.
Or, if not trying to change them, we use up our energy grumbling that they haven't changed.
Obedience or reform imposed from the outside is temporary
- True reform--that brings one closer to the Celestial Kingdom--comes from within the person
- Obedience is the natural state of one who as given him/herself to Christ
VII. LOVE SCHOOL
Rather than expend so much energy operating our homes as
Let me suggest we re-channel that energy and operate our homes as 'love' schools.
- obedience schools for children, or
- reform schools for spouses,
We should start with the the principle expressed in Matt 7:3: And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Stated differently (with apologies to JFK): Ask not what your family can do for you (reform, obedience), but ask what you can do for your family (love).
VIII. RULES FOR THE LOVE SCHOOL
- Always be cheerful, regardless of the circumstances
Notice and appreciate the little things
- Spilt milk and muddy carpets
- Late arrivals and departures
- Messy bedrooms and playrooms
- Broken china, crashed cars
- Financial irresponsibility
Offer assistance, not criticism
Give compliments, not complaints
Teach by example, not by harangue
Offer a warm heart, not a cold shoulder
Be cooperative, not cantankerous
Give hugs, not spankings
Perform lots of love 'actions' that speak louder than love 'words'
- house work
- yard work
- It is very important to use the "Love" word in conversations with family members
- It is even more important to use "Love" actions in our behavior toward our family
Too often I see people use the "Love" word to excuse non-"Love" behavior
We act with love when we behave in ways that show we put the interests of the members of our family above our own interests.
- "I love my husband, but . . ."
- "I love my parents, but . . ."
Brethren, one love action that speaks louder to your wife than love words is:
Sisters, one love action that speaks louder to your husband than love words is:
Our homes are a school where we teach and practice love
- Playing with children
- Taking teens to the mall (yet, again!?!)
- Helping with chores and errands
- Supporting each other in assignments
We put the cart before the horse when we focus on reform and obedience instead of love
- Love changes hearts
- Changed hearts reform people
- Reformed people obey Heavenly Father
What you do
speaks so loud
that I cannot hear
what you say.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
One act of love we can all do is to share the things our pride keeps us from saying to our loved ones
Now is the time to stop the denial and drop the pretense that gets in the way of having solid honest relationships with those we love.
X. THE END
In the sacred name of our God, Jesus Christ, amen.
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